Some people are just idiots.

[NFG]

GalagaGirl (not her real name, I don't think) sent me an email about this auction.  People who ask me about extras like boxes and whatnot make me insane.  There's no box shown, so I have a standard reply.  Read on for the hilarity that ensues!  I think I'm so damned funny.  


> Do you have the box for this by chance and does it have any
> scratches on it?  

This unit includes only what is listed and shown.  It does     not  include anything extra, like a box, bonus games, Doritos      brand chips or a microscopic space fleet.  

> Also, is the controllera black skeleton color?  

You mean the transparent black controller you can see in the  picture?  

> Also regarding compatibility, I live in the USA.
> What does this caption mean?:
> Compatibility: Plays only Japanese Saturn games without dark
> rituals sure to scour your retinas and destroy your soul.
> Compatible with North American AV Systems. PAL users
> know the drill.

There are three separate statements here, since you asked  about one specific statement, but didn't specify which one  you're confused by I'm not sure which one to answer.

Thanks,

Lawrence.

And this is the next round, her reply and my retort.  This is where I get a little punchy.  =)

> Sorry I asked anything but you don't need to send such
> sarcastic emails to your bidders.

It's all part of the service my lady, free sarcasm - no purchase required!

> There are a lot of systems to choose from and I wanted to
> make the right decision so decided to ask about yours.

I don't know why anyone would buy from me, I'm such an ass.

> The controller appears black, not transparent.  Just because
> you see it in 3-D doesn't mean everyone know what the
> controller exactly looks like from the pic which isn't so clear
> of the color.

I haven't been able to see in 3D since that accident in '96.  Thanks for reminding me of my shortcomings.  =(

> Your statement about Compatibility is entirely silly and
> confusing to anyone who doesn't share your silly sense of
> humor.

No, it's the only way I can talk about it 'cause ebay's stupid no tolerance policy would have my auction pulled if I said the word "mod" or "gameshark".  I don't beat around the bush 'cause it's fun (tho it is), I do it to alert the buyer to things they should be aware of while still staying below ebay's ludicrous radar.

> I didn't ask if chips and games were with the system, I just
> wanted to know if you had the BOX for it.

See, here's the thing: Everyone knows a box would make the system worth more, and everyone likes money.  You could naturally assume, based on my voluminous feedback, that I'm something of an old hand when it comes to ebay selling, and would highlight anything that would generate more of that precious green.  Instead you chose to assume I'm an ignorant bumpkin and insult my intelligence (or your own) with your question about the box.  Hence the sarcastic reply, and in an attempt to stave off your next round of silly inquiries, I offered some extra information - other things that weren't included with the auction.  More than you asked for, and you've the gall to complain?  For shame!

> I asked about whether or not it has scratches because of it's
> transparency and I don't want to buy anything as a gift for
> my son which may be scratched and would not show in a pic.

That's very considerate of you.  My mom would never buy me game consoles, with or without the bonus scratches.

> WHY ARE YOU SO DEFENSIVE???

WHY ARE YOU SO LONG WINDED!?

Oh, wait, I guess I'm more long winded now aren't I?  Constantly raising the bar, that's me.  =)

Tongue firmly in cheek,

Lawrence.

[Haohmaru]

Well...

This one just left me absolutely speechless - a real task because I love to respond to idiocy. I was bidding on a Dreamcast T-Shirt on Ebay and got this:

To member:   wwwdreamcasthistorycom
From member: festival_of_servants

--------------------


Hey

I am thinking aobut bidding on the Dreamcast tshirt bid your currently winning....but just wanted to check if I even stood a chance at winning? (beign that you are the guys at dreamcasthistory I figure I stand about a 0% chance of winning it at a good price, but figured i'd check anyway). Thanks either way.

        ~J~

I was so dumbfounded that I had no idea how to reply to it. Stunned.

[NFG]

So this guy buys something from me.  He pays, I ship, he receives it and seems happy with it.  Here's the emails that ensued, his words in red and mine in blue:

Hey, I recieved the item!! Thanks.  I will leave feedback after you do.

Is this a threat?  What happens if I don't leave you feedback -
You're not gonna leave me any?  What if I do and you forget? 
What if I place the same demands on you as you've placed on
me?  No one gets feedback if everyone plays the game the
same way you do.

I'll be leaving you great feedback as soon as it's time to do so
again - I leave my feedback every four to eight weeks in great
big bundles.  I don't need your feedback, I have lots.  Please
feel free to keep it and give it to someone else, or give it to me
at your leisure.

Here's where the fun starts!

Game?? This has happened before where the stupid seller(cough) didn't leave feedback, and kept wanting me too.  You make me sick.
(these are two separate emails, apparently he was mad enough to still be fuming a few minutes later)
WTF is up with putting, "Is this a threat." ....That's going a little excessive.

Life's too short to be as bitter as you are.  Relax, take it easy.  =)

Ahh, the delights of the tiny mind, unaware of things like 'humor'.  Blissful ignorance, or just ignorance?  I'll leave that to the philosophers.  And the less said about this little faux pas the better:

stupid seller(cough) didn't leave feedback, and kept wanting me too.

Don't worry kids, I tend to favour people with brains.

[ORTA]

All I can say about Galagagirl is...
 :lol:    :lol:    

[CZroe]

*stuff*

You, sir, are an ass on eBay, but that's cool

I wish I had enough positive feedback to ignore the idiots' feedback retaliation and tell them off when I feel like it!

[Martin]

Ebay's full of asses. That's the main reason why I tend not to buy from that ****house. There are too many asses, they don't send you your goods etc. But Lawrence aint a real ass. A reall ass will charge you faaaarrr tooooo much. And make you give them the money. then burn the item you bidded for in front of you while spending your money on   pointless crap.