So I get this email...

[NFG]

A few years back one nutty soul spammed the world with an email, written in all seriousness, asking for someone with a time machine to contact him.  It was great, really.  Today I got this spam, which seems to be in a similar vein:

Hello,

I am going to need  a new DWG unit,  prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display. I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003.
Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification  for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:
Payment can be made in Galactic Credits, Platinum gold, or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

INSTRUCTIONS MUST BE FOLLOWED EXACTLY:
Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Friday August 22nd at (exactly 4:00pm) Eastern Standard Time. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me. Nobody will be at those coordinates prior to 3:45pm EST, (so do not transport before then).

Item is to be delivered at beginning of Lagrange Street in Winchester, Massachusetts which is directly across the street from Stratford Road located at: Latitude N 42.44852 & Longitude W 071.14651 and the Elevation is 90 feet.  
WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!!
I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT OR BLOCK THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SEND IT SO THAT THEY CANNOT REDIRECT OR BLOCK IT??? If in doubt do not transport actual unit until your method of transfer can be confirmed as a success. You just might need to send a intergalactic courier to deliver item safely to me.
It is best if you send a intergalactic courier to deliver, this way you can be certain the unit arrives ok, However If you are certain that you have the means to teleport unit in a safe manner please send a (separate) email to me at: webmaster@federalfundingprogram.com only after unit has been safely delivered with payment instructions.

Thanks
Brian Appel


Do not reply directly back to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.


peck
dwa efs mbwzcictulwdf  udicmegvhmb

[Haohmaru]

i wonder where the Flux Capacitor fits in with all of this...