I Got Carded for a T-rated Game

[Chuplayer]

*WAVES WTF BANNER VIOLENTLY*

I got carded for a fucking T-rated game!

The gaming gods were not with me today. First, I woke up about 20 minutes later than I wanted to. Then I had to take a major crap out of nowhere. Then I dropped my cereal and made a mess. Then I encountered traffic up the ass due to construction. It looked like a fucking warzone. What should've taken 30 minutes took a more than an hour. Then people not watching where they're walking come out of nowhere and nearly get killed by my car running over their pathetic asses. Then I took all sorts of wacky roads. Then I had to share the road with a car carrier. Then I saw a sign that said CAUTION: MEN AT WORK. Luckily, nothing was there that affected me.

Then I got to the shopping complex. I went to Best Buy. Target: Time Crisis 3 + GunCon 2. I look high, I look in the middle, but I look low last. I find it low. I go to check out. Okay, I'm home free. Well, home free after I take backroads up the ass, but this should go smoothly. Okay, she's taking off the extra anti-theft casing. Ah, the box is so big with the GunCon 2 inside of it. I can practically feel the gun in my hands. Then my daydream gets interrupted. "Do you want a free trial subscription of Entertainment Weekly or Sports Illustrated?" Okay, she's just doing her job. "No thanks, I already get Sports Illustrated." She scans. It beeps. Good thing or bad thing? I dunno. I see this thing pop up on her screen. It didn't look good. Was it out of their system? Crap! "I need a driver's license." Blank stare ensues. At that moment, I was dumbfounded. That's what the thing popping up says? It's a T-rated game! I'm probably older than she was! What the fuck?! I'm being carded for a fucking T-rated game! Can't sell toy guns to little kids anymore? Okay, I just let her see the driver's license and then resolved to get the fuck out of there. "Okay. You're old enough to play this game." URGE TO KILL RISING. "Do you want a Best Buy credit card?" "No thanks." Pay, change, have a nice day.

Get in my car. My rear view mirror falls off. It made this loud snap. Luckily, it was just the glue making that snap. I'll just glue this back on tomorrow. I take backroads up the ass. that same car carrier is still there unloading. I fly past it. I take the back road. I then decide to stop by the comic book store to see what's going on. I was just there yesterday, but I don't care. I was down that way. I go. It's closed. Damn! I continue to go home. I then saw the craziest thing ever. An 18-wheeler was backing up. What a fucking sight. Then there was this truck who had no left turn signal on when he was stopped in the middle of the road and wanted to make a left turn. Then "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" started to play on the radio. I got home. I decided to go inside the house as quickly as possible and turn the radio on and finish listening to the song as I checked out my new Time Crisis 3 set because I like that song and hardly ever get to hear it. I got to the radio. I did something to make it change from FM to AM, and I didn't know how to change it back. I then figured out how to change it back, and the song was ending. I was too late. I was bummed, but I opened the game's box and turned that frown upside down. I then connected the GunCon 2. Well, I attempted to connect it. Connecting it requires a doctorate in Why-The-Fuck-Did-They-Make-It-So-Stupidly-ology. I then connected it and played it. I defeated the will of the gaming gods! Woo hoo!

But then I found out I missed out on the Real Ultimate Power Book! I was within spitting distance of a bookstore when I went to Best Buy, and I found out later on in the day that the Official Ninja Book came out. I'll have to go back some other time.

Next project: CUSTOMIZED TIME CRISIS ARCADE PEDAL HACK!

[Vertigo]

CAUTION: MEN AT WORK. Luckily, nothing was there that affected me.

I take backroads up the ass

I was bummed

Your subconscious is talking to you.